


Back to Normal

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-14
Updated: 2004-05-14
Packaged: 2018-12-27 09:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12078186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian canâ€™t stand the Pink Posse.





	Back to Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Good then Justin. You know what. You go out, and you play your games, and clean up the streets. Make the world safe for homos. Wave your gun around and talk real big. But I swear if I have to come to some morgue to identify your body, race to some hospital and wait for three days not knowing whether you’ll live or die, sit in your FUCKING blood and hold your head in my hands and pray that they didn’t hit you too hard . . . I’ll never forgive you.”

Justin’s anger, frustration, and fight flew out of him. He just stood there in shock at his lover’s words. He’d been telling Brian he didn’t understand. He needed to help make this place safe for everyone. All while Brian waited holding his breath to see if his someone was safe. He stood and watched as Brian closed his eyes rubbed his temples then pushed past him.

“Are you leaving?” He asked softly not ready to turn around yet.

He heard his lover scoff. “If you haven’t noticed which you wouldn’t because you’ve been too involved in your extra circulars. I haven’t gone out in exactly five nights.” He plopped on the couch. “Although I hear if I did the streets would be really safe for me.”

Justin finally turned around, and watched Brian flick on the TV, and begin rolling his joint. He realized now why he was so defensive. He knew it was wrong. He knew he wasn’t doing what was right. The idea of the group was good, but Cody was angry. He was angry. They were provoking people. Just like when he was with Ethan. All he did was talk about how great it was to keep people from thinking it wasn’t. He kept fighting that it was ok because even he didn’t believe it was. But this thing with Chris. It had to be done. He wouldn’t hurt him, but he would make him sweat. It might not have been politically correct, but fuck if he could let it go without giving Chris a little taste of the fear he went through. The fear Brian and his mom went through. All he had to do was go out this one night. Go to Chris tomorrow.

But if Brian knew. He’d explode. He didn’t want to hide things from Brian but it was something he had to do.

He walked over to the couch looking down at Brian who was staring at his rolling avoiding Justin’s gaze.

“You not gonna to talk to me?”

The man snorted. “I kind of have to. It’s hard to be pissed off at you when I know it’s a possibility you won’t be here tomorrow.”

Wow. That one felt like a punch in his stomach. For a kid who’d had a pretty hard wake up call he still had his stupid feeling of invincibility. Really hard to comfort his lover when he knew it was true. Hard to try to appease his lover when he already nearly died in front of him once.

He sat down. “Brian I really . . . I didn’t think it would . . .”

“What that it would matter to me?”

Justin shrugged.

“Well then for all your talk about understanding me you’re doing a really shitty job.”

He bit his lip. “Sometimes I forget that you were there.”

“Well I never do.”

“I just want to help.”

“By maybe throwing your life away every night?”

Justin felt himself getting angry. “Damn it Brian!”

“Fuck you Justin. Don’t dish it out if you can’t handle it. This is what I’ve dealt with all week. How’s hiding at Daphne’s by the way? When you don’t want to deal with me?”

“I don’t live here remember?” Justin shot.

Brian looked at him with his normal façade, but his voice made Justin ache. “I remember.” And I remember why. He didn’t say it, but Justin knew he thought it.

“I’m going to stop.” Justin told.

Brian looked up, and Justin could see a tiny bit of relief even if Brian’s normal walls were up. He was quiet for a while.

“What do you want me to do? Cartwheels and cheerleading moves? You never should have started.”

Justin bowed his head.

“I’m happy you’re quitting.” He told quietly.

“I have to go tonight, though. I have something to do tomorrow.” Justin told quickly. That was the tough part. Getting past Brian without having to tell him what was up.

“Prayer group with the Barbie Brigade?” Brian deadpanned lighting his joint, and looking at the TV.

“It’s important.”

“Oh I’m sure.” Brian said sarcastically enthusiastic.

“I have to do this, Brian.”

“Well what the fuck are you doing, then, Justin?” Brian exclaimed looking him in the eye for the first time in a while.

Justin just sat there silent. Brian scoffed flicking off the TV standing and heading to his room. Justin sat in the dark. He watched his lover undress and lay under the covers wondering where he stood. Finally after Brian had settled in bed he walked in. It all felt so familiar to another time when he’d stood at the end of the bed wondering if the man still wanted him there. Brian wasn’t making it as easy this time. Last time Brian felt at fault. Brian would keep him until he wanted to leave. This time Justin was hurting Brian . . . worse than last time.

“Do you want me to come back?” He whispered.

“What do you think?” Brian asked voice rough from the smoke.

Justin smiled a little. “I guess I’m slaking on my Kinney-ese cause I don’t know.”

Brian didn’t smile.

Justin would have cried if he hadn’t worked so hard at not showing his every emotion. *Kinney lesson number 4 in the Kinney hard ass handbook* Never cry.

“So? What do you want me to do?”

Don’t go, and come to bed like a normal person. Stop trying to make yourself a martyr.

“Come back.” He answered finally. Don’t you dare not come back.

Justin nodded relieved. He walked to the bed sitting on the edge right beside Brian. He placed a hand on his knee not even knowing if he should initiate a kiss. Brian leaned over, and kissed him hard.

“Better go. Got queers to save.” He whispered not an inch from Justin’s face.

Justin just stared in the hazel eyes before finally nodding. “Later.” He whispered.

“Later.” Brian sighed in a matched tone.

He stayed in bed and watched his lover walk away with no promise that he’d ever come back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin slid open the loft door as silently as he could. It was three am and Brian had to work at nine. He sighed rubbing his shoulder. They’d gotten into a scuffle near Woody’s. It wasn’t even about homophobes. Cody had heckled a group so bad they got pissed, and started a fight. They weren’t bothering anyone. Thanks to that he now had a bruised shoulder, and a sore ankle. Thank god he realized he needed to get out.

In bed Brian let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Sunshine was back. He could sleep. Something he defiantly couldn’t do with him out there. He just sat up waiting for the phone to ring or the cops to come to the door. But now he could sleep. Justin appeared in the door way. He was limping just a little.

He sent Brian a shy smile. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” Brian shot with a small smile.

Justin took it as an invitation to come lay down. He stripped off his pants, and tee and crawled into bed. Brian opened his arm the signal for Justin that he’d allow snuggling, and Justin happily placed himself in the strong arms.

“You ok?” Asked the tired voice.

“Yeah.” Justin replied softly. “I’m ok.”

With that Brian’s eyes slid closed. If he got to sleep right then he’d get four hours. Justin stayed awake thinking about the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~

The incessant beeping of the alarm came all too early at 7 a.m. the next morning. Brian had work at nine, and Justin had to meet with Cody at 9:30. Cody somehow found out when Chris finished his night shift. They were going to wait for him to get home.

Just the thought scared Justin to death. He defiantly didn’t want to hurt anyone. Even when he’d been in the fights he didn’t want to solve it that way, but Cody said it was right, and it sounded right in theory. He wasn’t a violent person. He just wanted Hobbs to get something. He didn’t intend to place any of the pain and suffering he went through from the attack. All he wanted to do was to let him know what complete, and total terror felt like. What it felt like to wonder whether or not he’d live another minute. What it felt like to be in the middle of a panic attack. Chris would never see a day behind bars for what he’d done what he’d probably do again if he could go back in time, and Justin had to do this. It was the only way he could leave that piece of the attack behind. And it scared the shit out of him.

Brian rolled over Justin, just like he did every morning Justin slept there since their first night, and smacked the alarm with vigor before draping across Justin to gather his bearings.

“You need a new alarm.” Justin sighed wearily kissing the shoulder pressed up to his face.

“I need a full nights sleep.” The man mumbled.

Justin smiled slightly but felt bad. Brian went to bed at eleven only to lay there for three hours until he got home. There. Not home. Brian once in a while called it home, but Justin was under the strict guideline that only Brian could slip that up. Considering it was his loft that he paid for. The sound of light snoring shook him from the thought. He smiled.

“Bri . . . Brian wake up.”

The man jumped slightly, and groaned quite loud. “I’m TIRED.” He bitched.

Justin rolled from underneath him. “Get up and get ready, and I’ll make you an egg white omelet.”

“You’re not Suzy house maker.”

“You’re right I’m your boyfriend Justin Taylor who happens to make really good egg white omelets.”

Brian smirked. “Too early for the b word.”

“Do you want an omelet?” Justin asked with a tone that warned Brian he was loosing patiences.

Brian let out a loud yawn/moan. “Yes dear and no butter you know I have to watch my cholesterol.”

Justin smiled happy to fix a meal. “Green peppers, tomato, American cheese, annnnnd toast sprinkled on top?”

Brian’s heart did that weird floppy thing when Justin did things like that. Familiar things that he associated fully with Justin. He always made it for him, and truth be told he could eat it day and night . . . only if Justin made them for him though. He smacked that thought away quick though, and the fact that his heart was doing that weird floppy thing, which couldn’t be a sign he was in love, was merely a testament to how hungry he really was.

“Sure that’ll do.” Was all Justin got.

Twenty minutes later they sat in silence at the table eating their meals.

“Need a ride somewhere?” Brian asked between bites.

“Nah. I’m gonna walk.”

Brian nodded looked down at his meal so he wouldn’t have to see Justin avoiding his eyes. He knew the day would be either great or terrible. If he got out fine he was done, and he’d have his Sunshine back. If whatever the fuck he was doing went wrong he might never have him back again. He checked his watch. 7:30 he sighed, and figured he’d just get started early.

“You’re leaving early?” Justin asked slightly alarmed.

The man shrugged. “Might as well. Why?”

The younger of the two shrugged. “I uh . . .” He felt stupid.

Brian looked at him closely. “What?”

Justin laughed at himself knowing Brian would roll his eyes, or tease him. “Well you have an hour. We could just watch the morning show or something.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. The kid looked like he could break down and start shaking at any moment.

“You work nine or ten hours a day. Might as well relax for an hour right?”

Brian kept his indifferent mask on. “Uh. I guess that makes sense.”

Justin smiled, and let out a relieved sigh. He didn’t want him to leave. He wanted to stay all day and avoid the world.

“K.” He said picking up the dishes to put in the dish washer.

Brian reclined on the couch, and couldn’t help but smile when Justin fit himself between his legs lying back to chest. He wrapped an arm casually around him, and kissed the tip of his ear. He drifted into a light doze not really interested in the news, but knowing Justin needed to be with him right then.

~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

“Bri. Its 8:30 wake up.” Justin whispered gently.

Brian woke up quickly, and smiled. “Not right now dear. I’m sleeping.”

Justin gave him a half smile. “You godda go to work.”

The man nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yea.” Justin whispered standing and facing the man as he stood.

“I don’t have any meetings.” I’ll be available at any time if you need me. “I might get out earlier.”

“Ok. I could make something?”

Brian smiled and whispered “You’re not my wife.”

He got a smile, but not the sunny laugh he usually got. “Yeah yeah. Go to work.”

The man nodded, and started to the door. Justin followed needing at least his usual good bye kiss. He was surprised at the force, and length of the kiss. Brian kissed him fiercely with his eyes open. They faced each other for a silent minute.

“He’s still dangerous. He’s still a homophobic asshole. Be careful. Please.” Brian may not have known just what was going on, but he wasn’t dumb enough to not know who it involved.

Justin froze, but somehow felt comforted that he knew. He leaned into Brian’s sturdy frame saying nothing.

After what seemed like a second but in reality was a pretty long hug Brian whispered their signature farewell “Later” and was gone.

“Yea.” Justin whispered pressing his forehead to the cool metal of the loft door. “Later.”

~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~

Nine forty-five am Brian sat at his desk staring at his laptop seeing nothing. His mind was about twenty blocks away . . . wherever Justin was.

~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~

Nine forty-five Justin and Cody sat on the stairs to the smallish typical suburban home Chris Hobbs inhabited. Justin had snapped at Cody not long ago and they now sat in silence Cody pissed off, and Justin nervous as hell. He wished Cody would leave, but he needed someone with him. He’d learned to nearly hate Cody and what he stood for. Making the gay community look worse rather than better. He didn’t create the safe haven he often preached about but spread violence and anger. He couldn’t wait until this was done.

Just as he finished that thought and began another Justin’s thought train stopped dead in its tracks at the sight of a car pulling into the driveway. His stomach clenched violently, and his head began to spin with terrifying images that always hit him when he saw the man. Cody stood, and Justin followed shakily to his feet. Chris made it up two steps before realizing who they were.

“Awe Fuck me.” The young man groaned and stopped to look at the two buzz cut boys in front of him.

“Thought you weren’t gay, ass hole.” Cody shot immediately.

“Look. I don’t know why the fuck you think you need to be here, but I didn’t bother you so why don’t you take your fag selves to your own part of town.”

Justin suddenly felt very clear minded. Clear minded and furious. He stepped down the stairs hand on his pocket with a grim smile that no loved one could ever claim to have seen before.

“You didn’t bother us?”

Chris had the audacity to grin. “Look I’m just minding my own business.”

“You didn’t bother me?” He asked still walking to him until he was nearly nose to nose with the other young man.

Chris looked him strait in the eye. “I was doing you a favor, Taylor. You should thank me for trying to knock some sense into you.”

The punch flew before anyone even realized it was about to happen, and Justin was on top of the fallen man within seconds. He heard a whoop from Cody’s direction, but paid no attention to it.

“You’re right Chris. Thank you. THANK you.” Justin’s breathing was ragged.

“Get the fuck off me fucking homo.”

“I’m sorry. No can do. You see I’m here to return the favor.”

Chris’ cocky smile had faded into an uneasy stare. Justin groped blindly through his pocket until he found the metal object. Chris turned white instantly.

“I never was very good with a bat.”

“What the fuck!” Chris screamed with now unhidden terror. The unmistakable shape of a gun filled Justin’s hand.

Justin placed the gun on Chris’ stomach arms and body pinned from where Justin was sitting on him.

“Shut the fuck up.” Justin said plainly. “I’m going to tell you a story.”

Chris just stared trembling under Justin. “Once upon a time there was a lovely Prince named Justin. Justin was a happy teenager with good grades and a good personality. He never gave any body much trouble. See, Justin was different than most other princes. Justin liked other princes. One night on Liberty avenue Justin met a wonderful King named Brian Kinney, and fell in love. It started off pretty bad, but Justin’s adorable ways had him coming around pretty quick. One night there was a grand ball and Justin convinced his King to come, and dance the night away. They were the center of attention, and Justin had never been happier. But Prince Justin had an arch-nemesis as it were. A troll named Chris Hobbs. Chris didn’t like Justin and Brian’s dance. So he beat Prince Justin over the head with a baseball bat until he was sure he wouldn’t stand again. The end.”

“Did you like my story Chris?” Justin whispered dangerously.

“Fuck off!” The young man yelled with false bravado.

“No you FUCK OFF!” Justin screamed holding the gun to Chris’ head. “Do you have any clue what you did to my life? To my friends, or family? To my mother? What would your mother do? Huh? If you left one night and never came home? Whether you like it or not I have a loving partner. Do you KNOW what that fucking did to him? What it still does to him? Holding on to me here on that fucking floor my blood covering him. Do you know what it’s like to lay in bed afraid to sleep afraid of the pictures that will play in your head once you’re out? Do you fucking KNOW what it’s like to know you’ll never fully recover NEVER be the way you were before some asshole with a masculinity problem used your head for a baseball? Do you know what that’s like?” He whispered.

“No!” The man yelled finally. “I don’t fucking know!”

Justin nodded.

“Look. I’m fucking sorry. Now . . . just let me go.”

I’m sorry. Justin waited three years for those words. Even if he wasn’t sorry for the pain he caused he was sorry he’d done it.

Justin sighed placing the gun back in his pocket and nodded. “Yea.” He whispered. “And you’re right you don’t know. You have no fucking clue, but you’ll never have to know. Because I’m not you.” He began to stand. “Go inside. We’re done here.”

Chris practically bolted for the door.

“Oh and Chris.” He called as the man franticly tried to place his key in the door. He turned finding his fingers were shaking too much to conquer the lock. “I wouldn’t call the police. You wouldn’t want everyone to know that a couple of faggots made you shit your pants.”

The young man gave a nearly imperceptible nod before finally getting his key to work. The door slammed and locked.

“What the fuck!?”

 

Justin turned remembering Cody for the first time. “You let him go!”

“I did what I came to do.” Justin told calmly even though his body felt like it would explode.

“You’re such a fucking coward.”

Justin walked to Cody placing the gun in his hands. “Actually I’m one of the bravest people I know, but I don’t have to convince you that.”

He turned around and began walking away.

“Where are you going?” Cody asked with the sinking feeling he was loosing a recruit. “See you at eleven?”

Justin kept walking until Cody was out of site pace becoming quicker and quicker until he broke into a full out run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cynthia’s button flashed on Brian’s phone, and his muscles tightened. He feared all phone calls and all visits, and would until he heard from him.

“Yea.” He asked sounding perturbed.

“Brian, Justin is here to see you.”

Brian’s hand ran over his face as a rush of relief flooded over him. “Send him in.”

Less than a half a minute later a red faced panting Justin replaced the open door way. Brian stood walking slowly to him. He placed a hand on his cheek looking him over.

“Well you’re not dead. Thank god.” Was all he got. Which for Brian and Justin was a lot when read between lines.

Justin let out a laugh that quickly turned into a sob, and let Brian pull him into a rib crushing hug. He forced his own eyes not to water with relief as he rubbed Justin’s back trying to sooth the gut wrenching sobs.

“You’re ok Sonny boy.”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Justin told with urgency, hoping Brian would guide him to the bathroom since he could hardly think clearly enough to talk.

Brian led him to his small bathroom kneeling behind him as he wretched rubbing his back.

“There you go. Get it out.” He soothed before Justin collapsed back into his arms taking large gulps of breaths. It didn’t take Brian too long to recognize a panic attack.

He wiped the nearly incoherent artist’s face planting a kiss on a cheek then more or less carried him to his office couch. Justin sat straddling his lap face in his shoulder taking deep calming breaths.

“Calm down. You’re ok. Breathe deep.” He soothed relishing the fact that he was with him, and no longer out on his jaunts to save the world. His office work completely forgotten he made Justin his entire center of attention. In fact if you asked either of them at the time they probably wouldn’t have even known where they were.

About five minutes passed by before he calmed enough to be talked to.

“So are the cops looking for you?”

Justin smiled. “Not impossible, but highly unlikely.” He knew there was a chance Chris would tell, and he’d be in a hell load of trouble, but he knew Chris, and was pretty sure that wasn’t a problem.

“Did you kill anyone?” He joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Just myself running here.” Justin chuckled still catching his breath. He never ran like that. He felt faint, and sick from it, but it all was manageable with Brian holding him.

“You’re clammy.”

“I don’t feel very good.” The blond admitted.

“Just rest.” Brian whispered kissing the buzz cut head.

“I should go home so you can work.” He said fighting his eyes to stay open suddenly feeling so tired.

“You’re fine.” Brian told. He knew the feel of Justin’s body when it was about to go to sleep. He watched his young lover fight to stay awake. He snaked his hand under the boy’s shirt and began stroking his belly Justin above his paint’s waist. He received a content sigh as the young man let go letting himself fall asleep.

Brian looked at the clock. It’d been ten minutes and they’d already gone through more emotions than Brian would have gone through in a month.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He whispered to the now sleeping blond.

~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

The wrapping on the door wouldn’t give up. Chris would never admit it but he was scared shitless it was that little fag. Fucking psycho. He went to the door and peeked through the peep hole. Mrs. Chandling. He opened it placing a pleasant sweet grandson look on his face.

“Hello Mrs. Chandling.”

“Hello Christopher. I’m glad you came I was worried.”

“Worried?” Chris asked “clueless.”

“I saw out my window that boy, and another one I think. He hit you. Are you alright? Did he mug you? This town it’s getting so violent.”

“Oh. That. I’m sorry to scare you Mrs. Chandling, but that was just my friends. It was a joke, and they had me fooled at first too.”

Like he’d tell anyone two fags beat him up. Right.

“Oh. Boys play such cruel tricks sometimes.”

For some reason that stuck in Chris’ gut. “We sure do.” He said unenthusiastically. “I’m sorry to cut this short Mrs. Chandling but I’m not feeling so well, and I’m going to lie down. Thank you for checking in. I’m fine.”

The old lady smiled knowing no better. “Well I’m glad dear. Such a nice boy.”

Again another stab. He was a nice boy, damn it! Only he was having a hard time convincing himself. “Thanks again.” He mumbled watching her walk away.

Come to think of it. He really wasn’t feeling that good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cynthia walked to the door of Brian’s office ready to ask Justin if he needed anything. Like perhaps an inhaler. The young man blew in like a tornado.

“Cynthia!?” Justin gasped.

The blond woman’s head shot up at the urgent voice. She took in the heaving chest, and red face of what she knew to be Brian’s boyfriend . . . or whatever they called each other. Justin assured her they were boyfriends. Brian was just pressed to use the word.

“Justin, sweetheart are you alright?”

“I need to see Brian. Is he in?”

“Sure honey. Just let me buzz him.”

The young man nodded leaning against the wall obviously trying to catch his breath. His hands were shaking almost violently.

“Go ahead sweetie.” And he was already off.

She stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway when she saw the picture in front of her. Brian had just finished covering his partner in the blanket he kept over the top of his couch, and was running his fingers through the blond hair after kissing his forehead gently. She stepped back granting him a little privacy. She knew Brian was a sweet guy. Hell, she left Vanguard to stay with him. He was a great boss, and she loved his hard ass personality. Seeing this side of him solidified that it was the right choice. Seeing that he moved back to his desk she stepped into the room knocking lightly on the frame.

“Brian?”

“Hmm?” He asked suddenly so wrapped up with something on his laptop screen.

“Is he alright?”

Brian couldn’t help but look to his lover and smile slightly. “Better now.”

“So . . .”

“He uh had a panic attack.” ‘Sorry Cynthia you’re a sweet heart but you have no idea.’

She nodded knowing a little about the bashing. “Call when he wakes up. I can make him some tea.”

Brian nodded happy for her concern. “I think I’ll order in. Chinese my usual and sesame chicken and hot and sour soup.” Justin’s favorite. “For about twelve?”

“Sure boss.”

“Thank you.”

She stayed in the door way for just a moment more. Brian snuck another look to the blond laying on his couch. She smiled. What a good man.

~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Justin?” The light voice shook him from his revere far before he was ready.

“M’sleepin.” He moaned rolling slightly. His hand ran along the soft leather of the couch making him realize he wasn’t in Brian and his bed. The day came rushing back to him. Justin’s eyes shot open to instantly calm when he found himself face to face with his favorite set of bright hazel eyes.

Brian smiled. “How you feelin?”

Justin pulled himself up groggily rubbing his eyes. “Lungs are on fire, and I would love to go back to sleep.”

“Other than that?” Brian asked sitting next to him.

Justin leaned on his lover’s shoulder. “I’ll live.”

“How far’d you run?”

Justin turned slightly pink. “Probably about ten miles.”

“I don’t mean in your entire life.”

Justin elbowed him.

“Ten miles Justin?”

“Adrenaline.” The blond explained. “I was fucking . . . I don’t even know.”

“Messed up?” Brian asked.

“That’s one way to put it.” Justin sighed rubbing his cheek against the soft cloth of Brian’s suit.

“You fucking scared me.”

“Mmm?”

“So everything is done?”

“I went to his house.”

Brian’s jaw clenched, but he said nothing.

“And . . . he.” Justin scoffed. “He said. “I didn’t bother you so leave me alone.” Then he said I should thank him for trying to knock some sense into me. I punched him in the face, and pinned him down . . . and I took out the gun and put it to his head.”

“Fuck Justin!”

“It was on safety.” The young man whispered.

Brian decided to be quiet. He knew Justin had no plans on actually hurting the man, but he could get in so much trouble.

“I asked him if he knew what it was like . . . to go through everything I went through. I asked if his mom ever had to wake up and wonder if her son would live through the day . . . if his girlfriend ever had to watch him teetering between living and dying. He didn’t. He screamed it at me. He was terrified.” Justin had a sad smile. “He said he was sorry, and I know he’s not sorry that he hurt me . . . but for that moment he was sorry he ever fucked with me. I guess it’s sick but . . . I was glad to hear it.”

“It’s not fucking sick.” Brian told. “He’s fucking sick.”

“I told him he’d never have to know, and sent him inside. Cody was pissed. I gave him the gun . . . and ran.” He laughed slightly at the end.

Brian pulled the younger man into his lap something he did very rarely.

“Doesn’t count as running from your problems if you faced them first.” Brian teased trying to calm the both of them. He sat on that fucker and let him know what it was like. If it was sick to feel finally vindicated then Justin wasn’t the only sicko.

“I told him it was probably a bad idea to call the cops. That he wouldn’t want anyone to know a couple of fags made him shit his pants. God . . . if he tells.”

“I don’t think he will. If he does we’ll worry about it then.” Brian said decidedly kissing his head for reassurance.

“I feel better.” Justin said yawning slightly. “I should probably head out.”

“And pass up sesame chicken?”

Justin perked. “You got Chinese?”

The man nodded his tongue just poking between his lips.

“And . . .”

“Hot and Sour Soup?” Brian finished.

The young man grinned. “Yay.”

Food. It could get his lover’s mind off practically anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The men sat at Brian’s desk eating their meal in relative silence.

“Thank you Brian.” Justin said after a moment.

“So you’ll buy supper.” Brian said with a slight smirk.

“For not making me stop. You always let me make my own mistakes.” The young man smiled. “And I make a lot of mistakes.”

“And it’s especially difficult for me. Not knowing anything about making mistakes.”

Justin grinned. “Well thanks either way.”

Brian just shrugged. “I’m saving them up for my next big fuck up.”

Justin laughed smacking his partner flat in the head. Things were back to normal.


End file.
